You will never know loss

Until you have lost the person you thought you were. Sounds selfish. I know. But the first and most intimate relationship we have is with ourselves. We spend our lives consciously or not constructing a life and an ending. Our construction usually takes the form of a role, and then we make that role making project our job. We groom ourselves to be seen in that way. We choose the stages upon which we walk. We carefully construct every footstep. And we become good at it. Because it’s our job and we made it into an art form. In 2011 my sense of self ended one day in a way that was out of my control. Sort of. I knew I shouldn’t have been in that room behind a closed door. I knew I should run for me life. But I.did not. I chose to give my challenger the benefit of the doubt and negotiate as “gentlemen” do as I had learned. But I learned something new that day. That having myself as I defined me ripped off my skin like a bandaid hurt. The moral of the story. We are not our roles. Our jobs. We are infinitely bigger than that. Lynn

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